Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
