so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
