God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
