so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
