Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
