i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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