i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
