I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
