My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
