I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
