I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
