Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
