Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
