So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
