But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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