It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Less talking, more tequila
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
