I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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