I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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