I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
