My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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