I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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