Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
worst night to have a conscience
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
