I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I need a burrito and a hug.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
