Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
