Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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