i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
