I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
