I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
