Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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