She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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