we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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