the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
