i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
