You work out of a Hotel?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
