but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
