People in love make me want to vomit
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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