How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
