Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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