It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I could make wine with my vomit
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
