In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
