Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets

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(305): View more from Florida

We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.

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(786): View more from Florida

All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"

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(210): View more from Texas

i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

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(646): View more from New York

So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Let's get weird.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's 10 am...

(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm assuming that means you're not busy...

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(217): View more from Illinois

the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks

(1-217): View more from Illinois

That’s his wife they’re back together

(217): View more from Illinois

You say potato, I say sleazy barista

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