Pappa wants mamma naked
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
