Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
