I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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