Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
