I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
