I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
