They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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