You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
