oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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