I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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