I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
