It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
