Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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