I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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