She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
