He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
