Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
