im gay
i know
yea but for you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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