you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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