party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I touched a dick in church today
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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